Slower Is Faster in Therapy: Why Taking Your Time Heals Deeper.
This month’s blog is about taking our time in therapy - slowing down and deliberately noticing.
In a culture driven by productivity and quick fixes, it's easy to approach therapy with the same mindset: “How fast can I feel better?” But therapeutic healing doesn’t follow a linear timeline—and it certainly doesn’t respond well to being rushed.
In fact, going slow—deliberately, thoughtfully, and with regulation—often creates the conditions for faster, more sustainable change. Whether you're a client, therapist, or someone curious about the healing process, understanding why slower is faster can be profoundly validating.
This is something I’ve learnt personally both as a therapist and as a client. Whenever I’ve been hurried into EMDR processing by a client eager to get to “the heavy stuff” without proper preparation, the journey has been bumpy for them (and for me!). Also, whenever I’ve been caught up in the anxious energy of a mobilised nervous system and not taken time to co-regulate, I’ve missed important information that potentially jeopardises the therapeutic alliance.
Taking time to scope out the landscapes of the body, brain and nervous system pays dividends in so many ways as I discuss below:
1. The Nervous System Knows the Pace
According to Polyvagal Theory (Stephen Porges), our nervous system is constantly assessing safety through a process called neuroception. If something feels unsafe—whether it’s a memory, an emotion, or even the speed of a therapy session—the body may react with fight, flight, or freeze responses.
When therapy moves too quickly, it can bypass the body's internal safety signals, pushing clients into dysregulation. But when we slow down:
We stay within the window of tolerance (Siegel/Ogden), where true processing can occur. Dr Jamie Marich explores this in their book “Dissociation Made Simple” more in terms of a Wheel of Tolerance (devised by Katarina Lundgren) which makes more sense for neurodivergent, traumatised nervous systems, or people who are located in networks of alters or parts.
The ventral vagal state—associated with calm, connection, and curiosity—can be accessed more easily when we take our time.
We are then more likely to remain emotionally present, engaged, and able to reflect rather than react.
I first started thinking about this when I trained as a mindfulness teacher at Exeter University and then ran a number of groups in the NHS. It was also after hearing the “Notice That” EMDR podcast episode “When Going Slow Speeds Us Up” that I was able to link this into Somatic EMDR and Schema Therapy. I fell in love with the Beyond Healing emphasis on slow pacing as an essential for safety and therapeutic momentum. This was in stark contrast to my then work environment which insisted we get into processing memories as soon as possible which I could see (and feel) wasn’t helpful.
2. Slowness Enhances Embodied Awareness
Sensorimotor Psychotherapy (Pat Ogden) teaches us that trauma is not just held in memory—but in the body. Our posture, breath, tension, and movement patterns often carry the legacy of past experiences. When we slow down in therapy:
We can track somatic cues (e.g., tightness in the chest, shifting in the chair) that often hold implicit memories. Implicit memories are unconscious habits or emotional responses we hold in the viscera of the body without even realising it.
Therapists can attune to micro-movements, which are often subtle doorways into powerful emotional material.
Clients learn to “stay with” bodily sensations, expanding their capacity to tolerate and integrate what arises.
“When we go slow, we notice more,” says Ogden. “Slowness allows implicit material to become explicit.”
And when we notice more, we can work with more.
Slowness in somatic work builds capacity, deepens awareness, and supports trauma resolution by anchoring the experience in the body—not just the mind.
3. The Importance of Rebooting and Containment.
When a client becomes flooded or stuck, slowing down allows for rebooting and containment strategies that regulate the nervous system:
Reboot Questions like “What are you noticing now?” or “Is there anything your body wants to do?” help bring clients back into the present moment.
Containment tools (e.g., visualizing a protective boundary, or a safe container for overwhelming material) ground the system without cutting off access to the work.
These approaches align with polyvagal-informed and sensorimotor strategies for keeping clients within their window of tolerance.
These aren’t detours—they’re part of the healing. Slowing down at these moments allows the system to process safely and completely.
4. Slowness Builds the Capacity for Speed Later
Here’s the paradox: when we invest in going slow early on—resourcing, building safety, cultivating somatic awareness—we lay the groundwork for faster progress later.
Clients who feel safe, regulated, and attuned to their own nervous systems are:
More resilient during emotionally intense work.
Better able to process traumatic memories without becoming overwhelmed.
Equipped with tools to return to regulation independently.
Whether as a client, you're working with EMDR, sensorimotor, or talk therapy—this principle holds true: go slow to go deep.
5. Therapy Is a Relationship, Not a Race
In therapy, we’re not just “solving” something—we’re relating to ourselves in new ways. That relational depth takes time. Polyvagal Theory reminds us that co-regulation (the ability to feel safe with another nervous system) is a key element of healing.
Going slowly allows:
Trust to build between client and therapist.
Relational wounds to be repaired in real time.
Clients to feel truly seen, rather than “worked on.”
When slowness becomes part of the relationship, therapy becomes not just effective—but transformational.
Conclusion: Slower Isn’t Stuck—It’s Intentional
When therapy slows down, it doesn’t mean it’s not working. Quite the opposite—it means the process is honoring your body, your story, and your nervous system.
As Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, Polyvagal Theory, and EMDR all remind us:
Safety is the treatment.
And safety takes time.
So if you find yourself frustrated with the pace of your therapy, try reframing it: Maybe this slowness is exactly what I need.
Healing isn’t about how quickly we move;
It’s about how deeply we’re able to go.
If you're a client, give yourself permission to trust the pace.
If you're a therapist, know that your attuned, intentional slowness is powerful work.
As a former NHS therapist working with limited sessions, this is an important principle I’ve had to learn: going slow, and showing up consistently and calmly, is as important as anything else we do. Working with and learning from clients in independent practice has been a process of unlearning and decolonising myself from the “quick fix” symptom reduction mentality that permeates the turbocapitalist ideology of mainstream mental health services.
What I’ve learnt from the people I work with is that you can’t go too slowly and you can’t have too much safety.
Because slower is faster—when it’s rooted in safety.
If this resonates with you and you’re curious about working in a slow, safe relational way, feel free to contact us here at Rhizome Practice to arrange an initial session.
